Must Watch: Surprise at the ATM

And all I want is $20

And all I want is $20

Every time I go to the ATM, I think “wouldn’t it be class if a wee extra $20 came out” and I mean every time! Well imagine my delight upon seeing this Canadian bank thanking its customers. Maybe some day folks ?!

What would you do if this happened to you?

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Must Watch: Irish girl goes viral

MUST WATCH: Irish girl very confused

WHEN Amber May asked her sister a simple maths question, she never expected the blonde beauty’s response to go viral. Laurel, 19, from East Belfast, has been making thousands of people laugh with her ditsy response.

And the recording of a day in the May household has been seen by almost 20,000 people on Facebook and YouTube.

Amber asked Laurel: “If I’m travelling from here to a location 80 miles away and I leave here at 2 o’clock and I travel at 80 miles per hour, what time will I arrive at my destination?

Laurel, with her finger in her mouth, looks at her sister and giggles.

Amber laughs: “Why is it taking you forever to tell me the answer?”

However, Laurel, determined to get the answer, goes to put her sister over the question again but drops a can of Coke over her mum’s rug.

Then she claims the trip will take a minute per mile and the traveller will arrive at 3.20pm.

With their exasperated mum Margaret shouting at them from their kitchen, the sisters fall about the sitting room laughing with the problem still being loudly debated.

Amber was shocked when her sister’s response was abused by trolls on Facebook.

Remarks included: “She should be put down like a dog.”; “The teen’s the reason behind world wars.”; “Laurel gives the Irish a bad name” and the siblings’ mother had not brought them up properly.

Amber said: “It was just another funny day in our home.

“It’s typical of Laurel and I’m always catching her out for fun.

“We’re always mucking about like this but she’s a lovely girl with a beautiful personality and would do no harm to anyone.

“People can be so hateful on social media but we’re still just laughing because they’re idiots and we’re just sisters who love each other.

“Laurel has been a victim of cyber bullying and that is totally undeserved.”

Laurel said the prank “was just a bit of fun and it’s made that so many people have seen me being my usual daft self”.

She added: “I joke my brain goes into meltdown when Amber starts asking me these stupid questions.

“I was happy to be on Facebook but I am really angry that my mum was brought into it and accused of bringing us up badly.

“That’s just unfair and untrue.

“Our mum brought us up very well and she was a single mum. We are loved and we’re good people and the internet trolls can get lost.”

Victims who have been abused online should report it to the social network.

The 7 stages you go through when having visitors over…

So we’ve all been there, the family are coming for a visit. What a roller coaster of emotions that brings. After much discussion, we decided that there seems to be seven stages we all pass through upon hearing that people from home are making the trip over on their holidays…

1. Pure delighted: You haven’t seen them in months. They’ve said on a few phone calls ‘jeez we must come over’ and now it’s official, tickets are booked, and your so bloody excited you don’t know if it’s Christmas or Tuesday!

Yeeehaaaa the family are coming

Yeeehaaaa the family are coming

2. Fear: Holy crap what will I do with them for the two weeks, can I really face Niagara Falls AGAIN? What if they come and they hate everything, or worse, me?!

What to do on Toronto on a Tuesday night?!

What to do on Toronto on a Tuesday night?!

3. Supply and demand: Well if they’re coming this way, you might as well make list of goodies you NEED over.

proof that your family still love you

proof that your family still love you

4. Planning: Every move must be strategically planned, they can’t be going home saying they didn’t have a great time, sure no one else will ever come then!

"yeah, of course we do stuff like this all the time"

“yeah, of course we do stuff like this all the time”

5. Sheer panic: Which normally results in buying shite you would never normally buy, my last visitors arrived and requested an iron…cue the boyfriend excusing himself and buying one, so I now have an iron which sits on top of the fridge guarding the bananas. One non-tea drinking friend (yes they do exist) bought a kettle so her in-laws wouldn’t think she was crazy.funny-pictures-kid-shopping-cart-beer-waste-of-space

6. Cleaning. You will clean like a woman (or man) possessed AND you will clean everything!!

cleaning

7. Sheer UNADULTERATED PEE YOUR PANTS EXCITEMENT: It’s the day before they’re arrival, you have their stay prepared with military precision, you have way more cereal than they will ever eat and more importantly more beer than they will drink,  and your apartment has a beautiful bleach-y smell.

Now all you can do is enjoy

S xx

ONE MORE SLEEP!!

ONE MORE SLEEP!!

Fr. Ted quotes you can use daily…

It’s nearly 20 years since Fr Ted first aired, but that doesn’t stop us quoting Ted, Dougal and the crew almost daily. Is there any thing to be said for another Fr Ted quote?!

Fr. Dougal to describe the train you took this morning:
I’m no good at judging the size of crowds Ted, but I’d say there’s about seventeen million of them out there.’

Seventeen million?! Sounds about right yeah!

Seventeen million?! Sounds about right yeah!

Mrs Doyle when having your friends over for a cuppa tea and a bun:
 ‘Won’t you have some cake, Father? It’s got cocaine in it. Oh no, hang on, it’s not cocaine, is it. What do I mean now? – the little things…raisins!’

Tea, even our Lord himself enjoyed a cup :)

Tea, even our Lord himself enjoyed a cup 🙂

 Fr. Ted, to describe your housemate dying on the couch from the night before:
‘So there he is. Risen from the dead. Like that feller…. E.T.’
Nothing new there then

Nothing new there then

 Fr Noel when someone REALLY annoys you:
‘I’m putting you on my list of enemies’
No I'm not, I really like Tony!

No I’m not, I really like Tony!

 Eoin McLove for that older, annoying woman in work who is always on your case:

‘Go away! I don’t want to catch the menopause’

Loves a good jumper, not so fond of the oldies

Loves a good jumper, not so fond of the oldies

Fr. Ted for when your walking around Chinatown, Toronto:
‘The Chinese. A great bunch of lads’

chienese

Fr. Ted when you’re having an in-depth chat about farm animals:
‘Sheep, like all wool-bearing animals, instinctively travel north, where it’s colder, and they won’t be so stuffy’

sheep

Fr Ted when your at a GAA match (or rugby or soccer):
‘Of course…they all have lovely bottoms’

Doesn't Mary have a lovely bottom

Doesn’t Mary have a lovely bottom

 Fr. Noel when you are at a party:

‘Will you sing one Ted? Ah you will! You have a lovely voice…very like Celine Dion!’

Sure don't we all feel like this at the end of a party

Sure don’t we all feel like this at the end of a party

Fr. Dougal when you balls up again:
‘Well, Ted, like I said the last time: it won’t happen again.’

Soooooo sorry

Soooooo sorry

 We could go on and on and on and on, but you get the point!

What’s your favorite Fr Ted quote?  Did it make our list? 

Well I don’t know about you but I’m away for a cuppa tea and a marathon Fr Ted session

Things to do this weekend: Taste of Toronto

Looking for something different to do this weekend?

Get down to Fort York for the city’s first ever Taste of Toronto.

chefs-small

 

The highly anticipated festival marks the first North American stop for this famous global culinary tour.

Running until Sunday, July 27th the historic Fort York will become a foodie wonderland with the perfect mix of summer eating, drinking and entertainment.

The four-day event consists of six half-day sessions lasting anywhere between 4- 5 hours, allowing you plenty of time to sample a variety of sumptuous offering’s prepared by Toronto’s greatest restaurants and world-famous chefs.

If that’s not enough to tempt you there will also be artisan stalls to browse through (this will be one of the best open-air food markets to check out this weekend), a tasting room, cookery masterclasses, a VIP lounge and a music stage.

Think of it as the Electric Picnic of food!

Find out more about the exhibitors, sessions and how to get tickets here.

Confessions of an Irish Administrative Assistant

Girls, how many of you arrived in Toronto full of high hopes to find a position suited to your qualifications but somehow ended up working as an admin assistant (said with a hiss through gritted teeth). We’re so grateful to have a job but sometimes, at the end of a frustrating day, jumping to the every whim of a crazy (sorry, we meant ‘very busy’) director, we wonder ‘what did we do to deserve this’??? Take a read and let us know if you can relate to any of the below? Don’t forget there is many more in the same boat…maybe we should up self-help group? (#Joking #Notjoking)

Monday morning again and I board my bus for the final leg of my journey to work and wonder, “what kind of day will it be today”? I know this is not an uncommon feeling but I really have very little control over my working day as I am (drumroll please) an Administrative Assistant. When I tell people what I do, they are intrigued and make comments about how fun it sounds, but fun it is certainly not. Ya see essentially it is my job to keep my boss happy! My boss is like the Tasmanian Devil…you remember the dim witted but slightly psychotic Looney Toon character who mumbled incoherently and ate everything in sight? Well yeah, that’s what I work with.

The boss, after her morning coffee Fix

The boss, after her morning coffee fix

Generally there are three ways I can tell what type of mood “we” are in;

1. She will fly past my desk, not lifting her head to speak to ANYONE.

2. The side of the eye / wonky smirk stare ; this is not directed at me normally, but at one of my colleagues who has, well lets be blunt, fucked up!

3. The emails; never exactly friendly (actually more often than not the tone of these is passive aggressive) but you know your in trouble when there is no sign off.

I’ve never felt the wrath of the boss, but she does scare the bejaysus outta me. I’ve seen her cut throat work ethic and have on occasion had to deliver the tissues to the poor saps that work directly for her.

So what exactly do I do?

Well I plan this woman’s every move and I mean every move. She doesn’t pee without me knowing. I schedule, organize, re-arrange , file, fix and generally run around (you will never see me in heels). I’m her gatekeeper – no-one sees her without getting past me. This is a major downside of my job. I swear some of my paranoid colleagues sometimes think I don’t allow certain meetings because I want to keep her all to myself…eh no! And I’m genuinely waiting for the day that the annoying twit from accounting will charge at me with a letter opener if she doesn’t get her meeting!

Super admin

Super admin

I have on occasions had to fetch her coffee and once I had to hold an umbrella over her whilst I got soaked at a company barbecue. A particular low-point was the day I brought her back a sandwich with mayo – tut, tut, silly me should have known (without actually being told) that this doll doesn’t do mayo!

But its not all bad. I actually enjoy the pace of this job. I never know what my day will hold and I’m constantly busy. Although my boss never says “please” or “thank you”, she will randomly compliment me and I like to think that is her (weird) way of showing appreciation. And it’s provided endless hours of ranting/laughing for me and my friends over a bottle of vino who find themselves in similar positions. In the meantime, it’s money in the bank until my dream job comes around or Ryan Gosling comes a knocking!

Save me?!

Save me?!