So we’ve all been there, the family are coming for a visit. What a roller coaster of emotions that brings. After much discussion, we decided that there seems to be seven stages we all pass through upon hearing that people from home are making the trip over on their holidays…
1. Pure delighted: You haven’t seen them in months. They’ve said on a few phone calls ‘jeez we must come over’ and now it’s official, tickets are booked, and your so bloody excited you don’t know if it’s Christmas or Tuesday!
2. Fear: Holy crap what will I do with them for the two weeks, can I really face Niagara Falls AGAIN? What if they come and they hate everything, or worse, me?!
3. Supply and demand: Well if they’re coming this way, you might as well make list of goodies you NEED over.
4. Planning: Every move must be strategically planned, they can’t be going home saying they didn’t have a great time, sure no one else will ever come then!
5. Sheer panic: Which normally results in buying shite you would never normally buy, my last visitors arrived and requested an iron…cue the boyfriend excusing himself and buying one, so I now have an iron which sits on top of the fridge guarding the bananas. One non-tea drinking friend (yes they do exist) bought a kettle so her in-laws wouldn’t think she was crazy.
6. Cleaning. You will clean like a woman (or man) possessed AND you will clean everything!!
7. Sheer UNADULTERATED PEE YOUR PANTS EXCITEMENT: It’s the day before they’re arrival, you have their stay prepared with military precision, you have way more cereal than they will ever eat and more importantly more beer than they will drink, and your apartment has a beautiful bleach-y smell.
Now all you can do is enjoy