Irish ladies…yes, we are a rare breed, but a great one at that. So, for any man thinking of dating an Irish girl, here are a few helpful tips:
Take the piss out of her: A wee bit of banter is the Irish form of affection.
Don’t pay her compliments: Irish girls aren’t used to compliments and so won’t accept them, or will think your taking the piss, so ye can’t really win either way.
Basically pretend you don’t like her that much: You’ll present yourself as a bit more of a challenge, and what Irish girl wants the guy who is all over her?!
Now you’ve got her, how to keep her….
If in doubt make tea: No matter the mood, no matter the situation – you should put the kettle on. In all likelihood it won’t fix a thing, but it won’t ever hurt either. An aul biscuit wouldn’t go amiss whilst your at it.
We must have cold blood: We are always foundered with the cold! Massive hoody and or dressing grown, heat blasting, hot water bottle at our feet, and that’s before the Canadian winter hits. So get used to hearing ‘Jeeeeesus, it’s freezing!
Food Glorious Foooood: Remember when hungover, we are due a feed every 2 hours, like babies. Also when in the heebie jeebies we are not interested in eating anything that doesn’t have a Colonel, a Domino, or a Golden arch on the wrapper.
We will start a healthy eating regime every Monday (last week it was limes) and tell you every morsel that has passed our lips that day. We will fall off the wagon on Friday through to Sunday night, and we’ll complain to you that we’re fat/a heifer/some other large mammal. (DO NOT AGREE, I REPEAT, DO NOT AGREE!)
Code Reds: If asked what’s wrong, and the response is ‘Nothing’ or ‘I’m fine’, this is a code red. There is definitely something wrong. Until you know what’s caused the mood and also ruled out that you are not a contributor, your best bet is immediate damage control (kettle, biscuit, food)
We are always right: Even when we’re wrong, we’re right. Even when you can prove us wrong and show us evidence, we’re still right. If you don’t believe us, ask our mammies. They’re always right too.
So what are your thoughts? Men, have you encountered any of the above? Women have you anything to add?