You know drill, your new to the country, you start a new job and so starts the questions. Don’t get me wrong I could wax lyrical about our fair country and I’m sure I have in the past, but my enthusiasm is waning because some of the questions are ludicrous covering all manner of topics from politics, booze, weather, leprechauns and of course U2 (Oh yeah uncle Bono, he’s gas, wile tight with the Christmas presents mind you!)
1. I am not British – I live in the North of Ireland (or Northern Ireland, depending on your viewpoint) so technically I am BUT I’m going to assume you know little or nothing about our country’s complex history so take my advice and do not argue the facts. Also do not argue with me about the geography/politics of the Country, I lived there, I got this.
2. Our small country is notorious for producing a mass of talented folks, who we are fiercely proud of; musicians, writers, poets, actors, actress and of course U2- Never assume, because I’m Irish I must like U2- I don’t! You can however assume that every Irish person ever thinks that Bono is a tool. FACT!
3. “Yer all mad craic” – That’s debatable, No we’re not all singing, all dancing all the time. I’ve meet some miserable sods in my life and guess what some of them were Irish! Yes the majority of Irish are known for their love of the aforementioned “craic”, but allow us an off day once and a while.
4. You must love Guinness?….Nope! Cant stand the stuff, same applies to whiskey and black pudding. Oh and sorry mam, I’m not gone on Potatoes either!
5. We’re all religious/ Catholic maniacs– Again not true, possibly true of the generations before us, but there’s a deadly amount of men and women calling themselves atheists these days. The majority of Irish Catholics grew a bit disheartened in the catholic church due to it’s recent scandals, and it’s unwillingness to embrace modern times. Me, I still love a good mass and turn straight to Saint Anthony when I lose my keys.
6. The weather is bad all the time – True, we are still are all talking about the great summer of 1995, our warmest summer on record. We love a good moan about the weather and are never happy with the too cold/too wet/ too hot situation. The weather probably explains why so many of us emigrate.
7. Leprechauns are friendly little fellows found all over the country. False- There’s two and they hang out in Temple bar…Little fuckers!
8. The Irish love to fight- Well you can hardly blame us…we’ve been fighting for our nationhood for 800+ years. It is however, remarkable to note that when we ran out of foreign invaders to fight we had a civil war. I wonder If we’d run out of Irish people to fight with would we have started fights with anything that was looking at us funny? Probably!
Have you had similar questions? Please comment you know we love a good argument