So you’re applying for Permanent Residence

***Let me, start by pointing out that this article is absolutely not helpful to anyone applying for PR it’s merely the ramblings of a deranged woman in the process of applying.***

Applying for our Permanent residence status (PR) has been an all consuming process, one which I will happily see the end off. At this point I am in the pool of applicants all hoping to receive their ITA (thats “Invitation To Apply”, incase your wondering). For ourselves and most of the lads in the pool, its been a long process, most of us happily applied for our PR  in 2014, only to be told that the brains up in Immigration had taken a few too many applications. We were however reassured  that Express Entry was the answer to our collective prayers and we’d all be PR’D before we could say boo!

Well lads that was a lie! Being the first applicants in the new Express Entry system, I’m feeling well to put it mildly  p-ed off! Does any of this sound familiar?

comp1. Decision made; We’re staying in Canada! You’ve survived the winter you’ve enjoyed the summer and you aren’t ready to head back to the bosom of Ireland yet. You’ve looked into the necessaries and obviously Canada would be mad to turn down your application.

2. You log on to the CIC website and the memories of your last visit come flooding back. Yes the website is still awful, cleverly designed by a horrible bastard, who really wants you to work to find the particular section of the website you need.

3. Hopes and dreams start to dissipate when you realize that you and your (newly appointed commom law) partners, 30 years on earth earn you a measly 290 points in the eyes of the Canadian government…..FML

canada done

4. So much paperwork, so many hoops to jump through! Complete an online profile, join a job pool, even though you have a job, get your hard earned degree assessed and the mother of all kicks to the balls, Take an English test?! What I’ve a degree in English language, I’ve spoken it all my life, yet I have to go (hungover) and describe a fucking camping scene…..Go’on with yourself now Canada!

5. You look at houses to rent at home, because shur look it homes; home and shur couldn’t it be worse ( and all the other things you’ve been saying re going home)

i cant6. You are fully obsessed, everyone that knows you, knows you’re waiting for either the LMIA which will give you some much needed points/ a bridging visa/ the elusive ITA / your police check/ medical or the all important Permanent resident status reply

Some days it’s all you can talk about, telling anyone who’ll listen about the plight of yourself and all the poor craters applying for the PR. Others, well God bless the well meaning co worker who asks “any word of your PR?”

7. When waiting has just become to much for you, there are other things that might speed up the process, a novena to St Martha, reading the Secret (twice), visualizing yourself here, sending out positive vibes into the universe, buying tickets to a concert in September despite your visa being up in May!

Things that might actually help with the process

The Ican centre

The Irish and applying for PR Facebook page 

Good luck to all the people applying for PR, I hope this lightened your mood! Sxx

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Nordy Translations

A person from Northern Ireland or Norn Iron, sounds a bit different from the Irish folks you lot are used to. At a concert recently, after i rather affectionately told someone to “watch yourself” I was told that I sounded aggressive! It’s not our intention to sound aggressive, Its because we have been forced to speak a language that isn’t our native tongue, so now we spend our time trying to dirty it up!

A is for…

Ach: Can be used a to start any sentence. “Ach how was last night?” ,”Ach it wasn’t too bad!”

Aye: Yes, “Aye I’d love a drink!”

Bis for…

Bake: Face or mouth. Normally not a positive reference, “shut your bake” “Would ye look at the bake on her?”

Banter/bant: Fun or Craic “Will we head out for a bit of banter?”

Banjexxed: an adjective meaning broken, “You may call the plumber, that toilet is Banjaxxed”

Beezer: Good, fantastic, Especially if you come from Derry “Your new car is beezer.”

Big Lad: A spritely young gentleman. “Alright big lad?”
Bout Ye!: Greeting, How are you? “Bout ye big lad?”

Craic/Banter/Fun

Craic/Banter/Fun

C is for…

Carry-out: LCBO or liquor store “Let’s go to the carry-out and buy some beer”
C’ mere: A command. “Come here”
Catch yourself on!: An expression, “Get a hold of yourself!”, “Wise up!”
Clinker: Similar to Beezer, if you’re not from Derry and are actually from Belfast. “My new bike is clinker.”
Cracker: Good. “That restaurant was cracker”
Craic: Fun, to have a good time. “The craic is mighty lads, get the beers in”

Cuddy: Young boy or young girl

D is for…
Da: Father. “I seen your Da last night”
Dander: Walk. “Lets go for a dander”
Dead-On: Good, decent, alright. “I like him, he’s dead-on”

Deadly: Really Good

Does my head in: Expression. Someone who really annoys you. “my da does my head in”

Yer-an-eejitE is for…
Eejit : An Idiot. “You are an eejit”

F is for…
Faffin’: Messing around, acting an eejit. “Stop faffin’ around and do some work”
Fegs: Cigarettes. “Can I have twenty fegs?”

G is for…
Grand: Good. “That’s grand, I’ll see you at half-eleven”
Guddies: Trainers. “Look at my new guddies”

H is for…
Haul: Hold. “Your man can’t haul his beer”
Hoak: Rummage. “That wee man hoaks through the bins”
Hole: Bottom, Bum. “Get your lazy hole out of bed and go to work”
Hoop: Bum, bottom. “You have a face like my hoop”

I is for…i dont know
I tell a lie: Expression, meaning you’ve made an error. “I tell a lie, I do know where it is”
Is that you?:Question. “Are you finished?”, “Are you ready?”
Is your head cut?: Expression, meaning are you wise? “you moved to Canada, without a coat! is your head cut?”

J is for…
Jammie: Lucky. “That jammie sod just won the lottery”

K is for…
Keepin’ Dick: Keeping Lookout. “Keep-dick for me while I rob this bank”
Kex: Underwear. “I have to go a buy new kex”
Knackered: Tired, done or broken, “I’m knackered after that walk” “Get a new car, that one is Knackered”

L is for…like
Lamped: Punched. “I lamped yer man after he called me a nasty name”

Like: Can start or end a sentence, so it’s kind of like a full stop “Like, I dont even like him” or “I don’t even like him, like.
Lump: Lazy, “Get out of bed you big lump”
Lifted: Arrested. “Wee Stevie got lifted by the peelers last night”

M is for…
Ma: Mother. “How’s your Ma?”
Melter: An annoying person who gets on your nerves. “That wee girl is a melter.”
Minger: Ugly, an unattractive person. “You’re such a minger”
Munter: An unattractive woman dressed inappropriately for her age and covered in fake tan. “Yer Ma’s a munter”
Mucker: Mate, pal. “Alright mucker, fancy a pint?”

N is for…il_570xN.688032465_tjnk
Naff: Stupid, crap. “Your new car is naff”

O is for…
Oul: Old. “This pub is really oul”
Oul-Doll: Old Lady. “That oul-doll looks like your Ma”

P is for…
Peelers: Police. “The peelers do my head in”
Poke: Ice-Cream. “Ma, can I have a poke with sprinkles on it?”
Pull: Go on a romantic conquest, usually on a Friday and Saturday night at a disco. “Right, pass my aftershave, I’m going on the pull tonight”

Pure: Normally used before an adjective, to give it strenght “I just ran up the stairs and I’m pure knackerd
R is for…
Ragein’
: Angry, fuming. “£15 for a taxi, I was ragein’!”
Ratten: Rotting, disgusting. “Those chips were ratten”
Reddener: Embarrassed. “I took an awful reddener when I missed the bus”
Right: Assertive, usually applied at the start of a sentence. “Right, I’m away home for my tea”
Runner: Run away, flee with speed. “Here come the peelers, let’s do a runner!”

S is for…
Scundered
: Embarrassed. “Look at yer man’s trousers, I’m scundered for ’em!”
Sound: Dead on, easy going. “Yer Da is sound”
Spuds: Potatoes. “Get the spuds on love, I’m starvin’”

T is for…
Tae: Pronunciation – Tea. “Put the kettle on and we’ll have a cup of tae”

Tara: Either good or bad. If someone says, “That’s tara,” and they sound glum, it’s bad. Likewise, if they sound happy, it’s good.

Tea: Dinner. “Jimmy, your tea is ready”
Till: To. “Are you coming till the shops?”

W is for…

Watch yourself: An Expression ” Be Careful!”
Wee: Small. Used by every single Northern Irish person.  “Have a wee bun”, “Would you like a wee bag?”
What about ye?: Greeting. “How are you?”
Wick: Stupid, useless. “Your new gutties are wick”
Windee: Window. “Someone broke my windee”

Wile: Really fabulous or really awful. As in, “Jeez, you’re looking wile.” So if something’s “wile craic”, it can be good or bad, depending on how the person says it!

Y is for…
Ya: You. “Ya look like my Ma”
Yarn: Talk. “I had a good yarn with your Ma”
Yer: You’re. “Yer my best mate”
Youse: You Lot. “Youse keep the noise down, I’m trying to sleep!”

What do you think? Are you constantly being picked up wrong?

Let us know if we missed anything out?

S xx

Must see: The most offensive T-shirt ever

With Valentines over and lent beginning, there is only one thing on my mind…. Saint Patricks day!

It’s great to see the slew of green paraphernalia in the dollar stores around the city, as well as the new and inventive clothing to identify you as being Irish.

Some stores however just don’t get it, take Target for example who thought that this was an appropriate item to have on their shelves.

Nice one Target

Nice one Target

The offending t-shirt was spotted by an Irish American and Police Officer Shaun McCann.

Most offending shirts portray the Irish as drunken, fighting louts, leprechauns or a combination of all three! However this garment offended on a whole other level, by adhering to the British viewpoint that the northernmost six counties are not part of the island of Ireland, so they simply left them out. To add further insult the shirt had a four leaf clover, in place of the actual symbol the Shamrock.

Upon seeing part of his ancestral home missing, Shaun did what any proud Irish American would do; he complained to the store manager. He explained why the shirt offended him and the possible consequences of keeping it on the shelves of the store. The manager of that particular Target, which serves a large population of Irish Americans, decided to advise his regional manager of Shaun’s complaint. Who decided to pull the t-shirt off the shelves!!

Well played Shaun McCann.

If you are in the market for a non naff t-shirt celebrating your heritage, check out The Irish Design house. They have their Craic Dealer t shirts back in stock. Available in light Grey and charcoal in sizes S to XL.

I know what i'll be wearing come Saint Patrick's day :)

I know what i’ll be wearing come Saint Patrick’s day 🙂

Have you spotted any offensive t-shirts; If you do, don’t be afraid to speak up like officer Shaun.

Sxx

Northern Irish Accent voted Sexiest in the UK

A new poll by UK Store Asda has revealed that the NI accent is the sexiest of them all…and the Essex accent is the least.

IMG_2830

No doubt the hunk in the bottom corner had a big influence on the poll!

The melodious tones of Liam Neeson, Jamie Dornan, Christine Bleakley, Rory Mclroy, and Eamonn Holmes have all played a part in ensuring the NI accent comes top of the popularity charts when it comes to ‘sweet talk’. They obviously haven’t watched the slew of videos featuring that frostbit eejit!

The poll, which consisted of over 2,000 people from across the UK found that; 17% favoured the Northern Irish accent, with the Scottish accent coming a close second at 15%. Together this means that the Celtic twang makes most people feel weak at the knees. Go us 🙂

Despite the popularity of reality show The Only Way Is Essex it seems the Essex accent doesn’t float everyone’s boat, with only 1% rating it sexy, closely followed by the Brummie, Scouse and Mancunian twangs.

Poll Results (most sexy to least)
1. Northern Irish

2. Scottish

3. Queen’s English (‘Posh’)

4. Welsh

5. Geordie

6. Yorkshire

7. West Country

8. Cockney

9. Scouse

10. Mancunian

11. Brummie

12. Essex

Us Northerners rarely get credit, so well take sexiest accent! Do you agree?

Sxx

Free Burritos….Yes Please?!

Hands up who loves Chipolte?
Hands up who loves Free stuff?
Now put your hands together?!

On January 26th (aka Meatless Monday) if you purchase something off of their new vegan Sofritas menu at any Chipotle location you get a coupon for another free meal at Chipotle, redeemable any time between January 27 and February 28.

information here

All you have to do is order a Sofritas entree item, be it a burrito, bowl, salad, or order of tacos, and you’ll find yourself with a coupon for another free chipotle meal.
Well played Chipolte!!

Sxx

2015/01/img_2745-0.jpg

Top 10 to do this Winter in Toronto

Winter has arrived. If this is your first Canadian winter you are in for a treat! They are well equipped to handle the heavy downfalls of snow – unlike home. But with the winter also comes the chance to try out new things that you might not have been able to experience at home.

Here’s our Top 10!

10. Cheer on the home team

Ice hockey is more than a sport in Canada; it’s a bit of a national obsession. And even though they’re currently having the longest dry spell in NHL history (the last time they won the Stanley Cup was in 1967), the Toronto Maple Leafs still draw a crowd.

Toronto Maple Leafs

Toronto Maple Leafs

Tickets can be pricey enough so another alternative is to catch a Marlie’s game, same idea…. he might not think so though.

9. Ice Skating

Have a go yourself! Every winter, over 50 outdoor ice rinks take over the city, the most popular is Nathan Philips Square, located right in front of City Hall. The ice rink opens November 23rd and will operate from 10AM-10PM daily.

Nathan Phillips Square

Nathan Phillips Square

8. Snakes and Lagers

Not your run of the mill average bar, enjoy a few pints of craft beer and food over a game of Guess Who or Connect 4. They have a huge selection of board games to bring you back to your youth. www.snakesandlagers.com

Does he have a mustache?

Does he have a mustache?

7. Go Curling

Now this looks like fun! A must do for the CraicTO team this year. Whether you’re a beginner, or a curling pro, Toronto’s Curling Clubs have options for everyone.

Have a look here for more info www.torontossc.com

2013-04-07-Curling-012

Curling

6. History and culture at the ROM and AGO for half price

No one wants to pay full admission to a museum when you can get it half price or even sometimes for free! The AGO (Art Gallery of Ontario) offer free admission every Wednesday between 6-8:30pm.

Have a look here to see what other places offer discounts. www.thingstodo.viator.com/toronto/free-museum-days-in-toronto

The ROM

The ROM

5. Winterlicious

Your chance to explore the variety of food the city has to offer. This culinary event hosts a variety of programming including cooking classes and demonstrations, dinner theatre, tastings and pairings, intimate chef dinners and more!

It runs from January 30th to February 12th, 2015.

Winterlicious

4. Skiing & Snowboarding at Blue Mountain

Unlike at home, Canada actually gets the weather to par take in winter activities! Try your luck at skiing or snowboarding this year.

As a first time skier last year, I can safely say it is not easy but it’s some craic, especially if you get a gang of ya’s going up for a weekend!

Blue Mountain

Blue Mountain

3. Throw an Axe

Perhaps a way to rid yourself of that anger/frustration caused by himself/herself or TTC passengers. The Toronto Backyard Axe Throwing League – throwing axes from a distance of 15 ft with points awarded based on where they hit the target. Leagues run every Sunday from 5-8pm and every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday from 7-10pm.

images (1)

Bulls eye

2. Ice Sculptures in Yorkville

Check out IceFest 2015 in Yorkville. It kicks off from 21st of February 2015. Get to see how they make some amazing sculptures, literally out of blocks of ice! This year’s theme is “heatwave” – www.bloor-yorkville.com/icefest

IceFest

IceFest

1.Tobogganing in Christie Pitts

Christie Pitts is about a 5 minute walk from Christie subway station. In the winter the slopes of the park are used for tobogganing, so grab a baking tray and off ya go!

*Sidenote also a good spot for making snow angels!

Christie Pits

Christie Pits

Did we miss anything? As always let us know what you think!

L x

A guide to Irish Men

Recently we brought you a guide to Irish women, so we thought it only fair to share our knowledge on the Irish men folk. They are a not complex breed, all they really require is food, football and a few scoops at the weekend.

1. They love their mammy; They love her but she puts the fear of God into him, thus shaping all future relationships.

Also note, no matter how much he loves you, he loves his mammy more.

An Irish mammy

2. They own at least one football/rugby Jersey and feel the need to turn the collar up ala Eric Cantona. A large percentage wear a jersey like second skin, you may try to beat this out of them, it wont work!

We even make the celebity's wear our jerseys

We even make the celebrity’s wear our jerseys

3. They are fond of the drink; After work on  a Friday, During a match on Saturday, On a Sunday, well because its Sunday. These lads can hold their own in the pub, they trick is getting them out of it.

One mention of the 'm' word and they are likely to behave

One mention of the ‘m’ word and they are likely to behave

4. They love a bit of banter, which can often lead them to act the maggot! Banter aka Craic aka having fun, is normally what happens after a few pints. A few too many pints and he will act the maggot during which time something will go awry. Acting the maggot normally involves the loss of ones dignity!

Well-that-escalated-quickly

5. They are fiercely loyal. An Irish man will always stay loyal to his friends. However they are no push over and if pushed can hold a grudge for years!

Move along...Nothing to see

Move along…Nothing to see

6. He will rarely compliment you. Sure you never take them anyway. At least when he does actually say it you know he really means it. It will normally be hard to tell when he is complimenting you, as compliments are normally masked or quickly followed by him slagging you off.

Take it, it's as close to a compliment as your going to get.

Take it, it’s as close to a compliment as your going to get.

7. The way to this man’s heart is most definitely through his stomach. Your food will never EVER compare to his mam’s! As a side note, most meals should be accompanied by a pint of milk

milk

We didn’t lie, they really are simple creatures. 

Do you think we got them right or have you anything to add? as always let us know 

S xx